Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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