is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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