Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize