His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize