I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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