I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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