I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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