I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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