Pants 0. Shit 1.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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