Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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