I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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