dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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