is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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