pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my being single is dangerous.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize