My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize