Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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