If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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