Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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