I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize