She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
A+ Viking dick
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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