Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
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he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm having to shit out rocks
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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