drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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