im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
did i just pee glitter
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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