You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize