i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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