How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize