and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize