Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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  (773): he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving http://tfl.nu/f17y
  Replies (9) Good night (675) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.

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  (443): and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life. http://tfl.nu/6kb7
  Replies (8) Good night (4055) Bad night (579)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.

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  (407): Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/dv8x
  Replies (26) Good night (464) Bad night (4257) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.

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  (909): I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea. http://tfl.nu/jmc9
  Replies (22) Good night (3259) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.

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  (717): Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze. http://tfl.nu/xfyl
  Replies (25) Good night (4450) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.

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  (781): I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece. http://tfl.nu/l6if
  Replies (10) Good night (713) Bad night (6133) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.

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  (519): DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS. http://tfl.nu/77gw
  Replies (16) Good night (6060) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed

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  (250): Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/yyfl
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (1842) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.

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  (905): I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do. http://tfl.nu/nqbr
  Replies (5) Good night (1521) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor

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  (310): Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor http://tfl.nu/gni2
  Replies (7) Good night (493) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms

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  (970): Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms http://tfl.nu/zzyw
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours

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  (519): Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours http://tfl.nu/fxl2
  Replies (26) Good night (1426) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?

  (315): View more from New York

  Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.

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  (202): Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse? (315): Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance. http://tfl.nu/q51f
  Replies (2) Good night (757) Bad night (216)
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  (718): View more from New York

  She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet

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  (718): She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet http://tfl.nu/l8w6
  Replies (10) Good night (986) Bad night (754)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit

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  (740): I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit http://tfl.nu/8mkh
  Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt

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