I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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