Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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