Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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