I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize