so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize