We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
its not stalking. its research.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize