I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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