My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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