I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize