these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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