Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have fence marks all over my body
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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