Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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