i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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