Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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