You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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