you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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