I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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