She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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