On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize