I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize