Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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