how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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